For many, the holidays can feel like sitting alone in a quiet kopitiam (Malay term for coffeeshop) while everyone else is enjoying the buzz of a hawker centre with friends. Let’s be honest—loneliness is more common than we think, especially during a season that highlights connection and joy. But there are ways to manage those feelings and find new paths to connection. Here are some common emotional experiences during the holidays and strategies to help you navigate them.

Feeling Disconnected

It’s a tough feeling—like watching everyone around you catch a bus while you’re left waiting on the curb. Loneliness can make everything feel heavier like you’re standing still while others
move forward, leaving you to question, “Why can’t I move on?”

Strategy:
Start by acknowledging your loneliness. Recognising your feelings is the first step toward healing. Journaling or verbalising your thoughts can help—think of it like tidying a cluttered
room, creating space for clarity. If you can, sharing your feelings with someone else lightens the load even more. You might consider bringing your journal to East Coast Park or Gardens
by the Bay for a fresh environment. These are peaceful places where you can reflect in solitude while enjoying nature.

Traditions Feel Empty Now

When old traditions lose their meaning, it can feel like trying to squeeze into an old pair of jeans—they just don’t fit anymore. After the passing of a loved one, our family’s Chinese New
Year gatherings felt hollow. But we found new ways to celebrate over time, bringing new energy to the occasion.

Strategy:
Create new traditions. If the old ones no longer resonate, perhaps it’s time to explore fresh celebrating ways. For example, if gathering with family feels different now, why not explore Singapore’s festive markets, such as the Christmas Wonderland at Gardens by the Bay? If you're feeling up for a solo adventure, consider checking out Orchard Road’s Christmas lights, or if you're a foodie, explore different cuisines at local hawker centres. Even something as simple as making your own Christmas or Chinese New Year playlist could reinvigorate the festive spirit.

Sending care packages of local delights, such as pineapple tarts, can add a personal touch.

Additionally, sending care packages with local favourites like bak kwa, pineapple tarts, or handmade goodies to friends and family can add a personal touch, even if you can’t be together.

Virtual Connections Feel Flat

As someone who has lived abroad for many years, I know how virtual gatherings can feel less warm. But that doesn’t mean they can’t still offer connection—just like sharing a long-distance
kopi (Malay term for coffee) chat with a friend.

Strategy:
Make virtual gatherings engaging by organising trivia nights, movie-watch parties, or opening gifts together online. For example, you could host a virtual Singapore trivia quiz using Kahoot! or watch a Singaporean classic like 881 with friends online. You can also use food delivery services like Grab or Deliveroo to send kopi and kaya toast from Toast Box or Ya Kun to a loved one before your virtual meet-up, recreating that local feel. And don’t underestimate the impact of a simple “thinking of you” message. Whether it's a WhatsApp text or a video message sent through Telegram, reaching out during key moments like
Chinese New Year, Qing Ming, or simply during the weekend can bridge the distance.

Make virtual gatherings engaging by organising trivia nights, movie-watch parties, or opening gifts together online. 

Additionally, don’t underestimate the power of a simple text check-in; a heartfelt message can make someone feel seen and appreciated. You might be surprised by how far a “thinking of you” can go. I know this from experience, especially during lonely moments like Chinese New Year, Qing Ming, birthdays, and weddings. You never really know when someone might be struggling, so reaching out can truly make a difference.

Helping Others Can Help You Too

Sometimes, addressing your own loneliness starts by focusing on others. Volunteering is like offering someone a seat on a crowded MRT—it fosters connection and makes a difference in
someone’s day.

Strategy:
Consider getting involved with local volunteering opportunities to feel more connected. The Food Bank Singapore and Willing Hearts always need helping hands to pack and distribute meals. Volunteering at organisations like the Lions Befrienders can connect you with seniors needing companionship. Even virtual volunteering options, such as helping through platforms like Giving.sg, can allow you to contribute from home. For those who may be hesitant to venture out, consider starting small by checking in with neighbours, offering help with groceries, or just saying hello. Small acts of kindness can go a long
way in fostering community spirit.

Consider getting involved with local volunteering opportunities to feel more connected.

Loneliness during the holidays can be challenging, but it doesn’t have to define your experience. There are meaningful ways to find joy, whether by creating new traditions, staying virtually connected, or giving back to others. Acknowledging your feelings is a powerful step toward positive change. You’ve got this.