The holiday season is often seen as a time of joy, but for many, it can feel as overwhelming as navigating Orchard Road on a busy weekend—crowded, chaotic, and stressful. In reality,
balancing festive cheer with stress, grief, or burnout is a struggle many people face. Let’s explore some common holiday stressors and practical self-care strategies to help you find balance.

The holidays may seem like the perfect opportunity to rest, but it can feel as elusive as catching a breeze in an MRT station—rare and fleeting. We often set ourselves up with the
expectation that, "This will be my time to relax!" only to see those hopes fizzle out.

Strategy:
In the hustle and bustle of holiday gatherings, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Taking a moment to unplug can be incredibly beneficial for your mental well-being. Treat your phone like a busy hawker centre—full of distractions—and put it away for a while. You can also find a quiet corner at a park like East Coast Park or the Bukit Timah Nature Reserve for a short break from the noise, where you can focus on the sights and sounds of nature instead of the constant ping of notifications. A quick five-minute walk around Marina Bay or a quiet moment at Changi Beach can clear your mind, reduce anxiety, and recharge your energy.

 

Family gatherings can sometimes feel like visiting your favourite kopitiam during lunch hour—noisy, crowded, and full of awkward interactions. You might face the usual questions: "Married yet?" or "Any kids?" which can feel invasive and stressful.

Strategy:
Setting boundaries during holiday gatherings can be challenging, but it’s essential. Think of boundaries as your personal umbrella during a downpour—they help shield you from unnecessary stress. It’s okay to excuse yourself early, steer conversations away from uncomfortable topics, or simply take a moment outside to regroup. If you know certain questions
or situations will arise, plan your exit ahead. For example, you might decide to leave after lunch or have an excuse ready to exit a particularly draining conversation. Try arranging your own holiday gathering with close friends at a cosy café like The Book Café or Tiong Bahru Bakery—somewhere that feels more relaxed and within your control.

 

For some, the holiday feast can feel as intimidating as being presented with a durian—you either love it or find it overwhelming. If you’re on a diet or have a tricky relationship with food, hearing "Eat more!" can feel like added pressure.

Strategy:
Take your time during meals, savouring each bite like you would a delicious plate of char kway teow—one bite at a time, appreciating the flavours without guilt. You can also treat your meal like a buffet—there’s no need to sample everything. It’s perfectly okay to pass on dishes that don’t appeal to you or to take smaller portions of your favourite holiday foods, like roast duck or yusheng. Remember, you’re not responsible for anyone else’s opinions, and you have the right to enjoy your meal at your own pace.

 

The holidays can feel bittersweet if you’ve lost someone. It’s like watching a beautiful light display while feeling like your own light has dimmed. Grief can create a disconnect between
your emotions and the festivities, and that’s okay.

Strategy:
To honour your loved ones during the holidays, consider lighting a candle in their memory or watching their favourite movie. Another idea is to take a quiet moment at a meaningful place like the Kranji War Memorial or Bukit Brown Cemetery if those spaces hold personal significance for you. Remember that grief and joy can coexist—like mixing kopi (Malay term for coffee) with milk, both can blend into your holiday experience. Allow yourself to feel both emotions fully. If you're looking for something more symbolic, you might visit the Gardens by the Bay, where the lights could serve as a peaceful tribute to the memory of your loved one.

 

The holidays don’t have to be picture-perfect—just like life in Singapore isn’t always like the glamorous Instagram shots of Marina Bay Sands. By taking small steps—resting when you can,
setting boundaries, and honouring your emotions—you can create a holiday that feels meaningful to you. Even if things feel messy, you’re doing great, and that’s more than enough.

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Featured Contributor: 

Dr Ong Mian Li
Clinical Psychologist

Medical Psychology Fellow, Mayo Clinic
Ph.D., Clinical Psychology, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill

Dr. Ong Mian Li is an internationally recognised clinical psychologist with over a decade of experience in the United States, Singapore, and beyond. Specialising in anxiety, mood disorders, and behavioural issues, Dr. Ong has made significant contributions to the field through both clinical practice and research.

With over 50 peer-reviewed publications, Dr. Ong's work has profoundly impacted the understanding and treatment of anxiety, mood disorders, and psychological assessment. His research is widely respected and has influenced clinical practices worldwide.

As the founder of Lightfull Psychology and Consulting, Dr. Ong continues to provide specialised mental health services, combining evidence-based approaches with a deep commitment to improving the well-being of his clients. Connect with Dr Ong Mian Li on his website, Instagram and LinkedIn.